In my defense, I want you to know that, being gluten sensitive, I have been deprived of gluten products for several years. I’ve made due and it’s been tolerable. More recently I made a decision to limit my sugar intake and on top of that, gave up coffee for the week. Hopefully this helps you understand the frame of mind I was in when the following took place.
The tantalizing aroma of fresh baked donuts permeated the room. A perky young lady in a crisp apron stood smiling at the door of our store, rectangular pink box balanced in her hand. With a dimpled smile she presented the offering to my co-worker and I. “Compliments of your new neighbor; our bakery opened today!”
With reverence we carried the box to the employee break room. Upon sitting it down, and lifting the lid, a small moan escaped my throat and tears threatened to spill. My knees buckled and I knew my willpower had just run out the door taking common sense and pride along with her.
There inside, nestled gently in white tissue paper were a baker’s dozen of the loveliest assortment of hot fresh-out-of-the-bakery treats. Glazed and frosted donuts, some jelly filled, apple fritters, bear claws, and oh my -- maple bars! My hands flew to my eyes. "DON'T LOOK! TURN AWAY NOW!!" But it was too late. Gluten be damned. Sugar free be damned. Forget about the strict healthy eating plan I was determined to follow.
The maple bar was cut in half in a futile attempt of restraint but I knew it was a joke. The entire bar would be eaten, by me, and in short order! In a heartbeat the feeding frenzy was on. Each bite was shameless unadulterated pleasure. Whimpers of ecstasy from my corner of the break room caused my co-worker to look over and chuckle. And, then, it was over. All that was left was the sweet stickiness on my fingers and a frosting glaze on my chin. I sighed and burped delicately.
Later, at home, as I rolled in discomfort from the thickening around my waist where my pants cut into my bloated belly, I sighed again and this time the burp was a belch and there was nothing lady like about it. But was it worth it?
Finding a last drop of glaze in my bra cup as I undressed I said softly "Yes.” I licked the glaze off my bra. "It tasted just like a baby angel*."
*Credit Tim Hawkins for this amazing quote